Viking Coach

Last night my team had its first “big game” in two years. A game that really meant something.

On the line was a possible 5th seed in the section tournament. This would mean that our team could avoid the “Big 3” (Hawley, DGF and Barnesville) in the first round of the tournament and instead travel to Pine River – Backus. Not that Pine River is a slouch but we just finished playing Barnesville and DGF and we lost by 35+ points to each.

So there we were. . . playing Frazee on Parent/Senior night. The band was rocking. We had a good crowd. There were “big game” nerves to deal with. It was exactly the type of game that you work so hard to have an opportunity to play in. We had even beaten Frazee earlier in the year and even though we were playing with-out senior Katie Mattern this time around our hopes were still high.

The result = a 48 to 61 loss. . .

Failure. . .

Ever since I have become a coach I have constantly preached that success is measured in the consistency of one's effort and not in the wins and losses. I use quotes like:

"Failure is an event, never a person".
~William D. Brown

"There is no failure except in no longer trying."
~Elbert Hubbard

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed."
~Lloyd Jones

No matter how often I relay this message to my team there is always one person who has a hard time receiving the message. . . that one person is me.

Today is a great example. It’s really hard to explain how I am feeling. I have this emptiness like my best friend just moved away. . . or that feeling you get after you have graduated from high school and you are out on your own and you get sick for the first time. . . that “I want mom” feeling.

I’m afraid too. . . this is a fear that has always lurked in quiet corners through out my coaching career. . . the fear that maybe my critics are right. . . maybe I can’t coach.

When it comes down to my final analysis of a loss, I take the burden of a loss on my shoulders.

People can tell me that other teams are more talented, have better skills or are more athletic but my feelings are always. . .

“We should be able to compete at a higher level. . . somewhere along the line I am letting down the team. . . I’m not doing what needs to be done at the lower levels of our program. . . I should be doing more. . . I’m failing at some level and I can’t find the answer. . .”

Am I yelling too much?
Am I not positive enough?
Am I demanding enough?
Am I running the right offense?
am I helping the girls understand what is expected and how to be successful???

. . the list of things going through my mind seem endless.

It comes to a point where I get overwhelmed at the prospect of continuing to forge on as a coach. I feel so overwhelmed with the time commitment that must be made and the constant battle I wage with in myself. . ."if I don’t win I’m a failure". . . "There's more to it than wins and losses". . . "losing equals failing". . . "hard work equals success". . . and on it on it goes.

And then. . . time passes and begins its healing ways. . .

A conversation is held with a player and you remember why you do this crazy thing in the first place. . .

You walk into the gym and hear the bounce of a ball and it gives you that “this is where I belong feeling”. . .

You see a junior high player’s face and you see hope. . .

And then you start to remember that what is bringing you down is such a small part of the big picture. . . that the relationships built, the lessons taught, the leadership provided, and the experience that you give the kids under your watch are what really matter.

Although, I may stumble occasionally I am at peace with the fact that I care a great deal for the players I coach and with that I hope to find the strength and courage to strive on!

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm". Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)