Viking Coach

A couple of weeks ago I found out that one of my seventh grade son’s teammates had been asked to play with the eighth grade traveling team.

It was an interesting situation for me to be in as I have always been on the coaching side of moving players up to a higher level to play but now I was on the parent side of the coin.

My first thought. . . “I wonder what my son is thinking.”

When you pull players up to play at a higher level, a coach sometimes runs the risk of disappointing the players that are not chosen. Not all players are asked to move up because not all players are equal. Some kids physically develop at an early age giving them a natural advantage while others have developed better skills than their classmates. Both of these situations create opportunities for some players to be moved up while others get a "normal" athletic experience.

This is the case with my son’s teammate. He is the most athletic player on the team and he is physically more mature than my son. I can totally see why he was asked to help out the eighth grade team.

The ultimate concern for a coach, in this situation, is the response of players that are "left behind". My fear is that some will get frustrated and quit the team or even worse some may start developing a "chip" on their shoulder. For the players that do not move up a coach hopes that seeing a fellow player move up, instead motivates them to want to one day do the same thing.

I didn’t really know how my son would respond when I asked him what he thought about his teammate being asked to play up while he wasn't.

His answer made me proud. . .He told me, “It motivated me to work harder.”

I explained to him that it was okay to be initially bummed about not being asked to play with the eighth graders. It is an honor to be asked to play at a higher level and it is natural to have "negative" feelings when these types of things happen. Emotions, positive and negative, just happen and for a coach these emotions are not our main concern. Our main concern deasl with how a player deals with the emotions.

It is so important to impress upon your athlete that situations like these should be used as a source of fuel that will help keep the “fire” inside of you going.

Too often players and parents will get caught up in the “fairness” issue and allow situations like this to douse the “fire”.

Improvement and progress of the individual lies with the simple word:

ACCEPTANCE (ac·cep·tance) n
1. willingness to believe that something is true
2. the realization of a fact or truth resulting in somebody’s coming to terms with it

I think the first definition I listed is important because of the word WILLINGNESS. Players and parents who are unwilling to accept the coach’s decisions often get caught up in the “blame game”.

The problem with the blame game is that you never take your turn. Every time the dice get put into your hands and you are asked to roll them, you pass the dice to someone else. You fail to take action to improve your situation and instead sit and blame others.

Playing the “blame game” is the easiest way in the world to deal with your problems as it calls for no effort what so ever. . . it is also the least likeliest way to create self improvement.

The second definition I listed is important because of the words. . . “coming to terms with it.”

Acceptance does not mean that things can’t change over time. Acceptance just means you accept your present situation but you don’t necessarily accept it as permanent.

What coming to terms with the situation allows you to do is create the “right action” response.

With this mentality you can now go into an improvement stage. The level of commitment you will put into improvement will all depend on the importance of the activity.

But setting your mind to improve your situation is paramount to any change that will occur.

Of course the choice to “blame” or to go the road of “acceptance” are up to you to make.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

These are the words of a poem that is attached to a plaque on Staten Island, home of the Statue of Liberty. . . The influx of ethnic groups into the community of Pelican Rapids makes me wonder if we shouldn't put a similar plaque on our Pelican Pete.

When I first moved to Pelican Rapids some 15 years ago, the town was seen in such a great light by the entire area. But now soooooooooo many people view Pelican Rapids in such a negative way. Nobody really wants to say it out right but there is no doubt in my mind that it is because of the perception people have of our ethnic diversity in our community and schools.

I read in the paper today that we have 180+ students in our district boundaries that are attending school in neighboring districts and less than 20 that are open enrolling into our school.

People can say what they want but in my mind the bad publicity that we get over the ethnic diversity in our schools has definitely played a role in the decision making process that families go through when deciding if they should enroll their kids to District #548 and even if Pelican Rapids would be the "right place" to live.

It is discouraging to hear the "rumors" that circulate in other communities about Pelican Rapids.

I hear these things from substitute and student teachers who come into our school expecting to see gangs, drugs and violence running rampant in the hallways. Instead, often to their surprise, they see kids being kids and are amazed at how everyone just goes about their business with very little regard for race, creed or color.

I also hear it from teachers at other schools who ask questions like. . . "How bad is it in Pelican Rapids?" You see it in the media. . . once a darling of a local television station Pelican Rapids has become a hot bed of what I feel is "sensationalized" reporting.

You may now be wondering. . . "what gives?". . . this is the blog you go to for sports related insight. . . Well, here it comes:

You can't imagine how proud I am of being a teacher and coach from Pelican Rapids, Minnesota. We are like that little train that continues to say. . . "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can", as we travel constantly up hill in our battle to show the world that life is pretty darn good in our community.

Our boys just advanced to the Section 8AA Championship game for the fourth time and the last five years! I just got home from the victory over the Breckenridge Cowboys in which junior Todd Johnson hit a game winning 3-pointer at the buzzer.

You would think a thriller like this would be much more emotional for me than the boys' semi-final victory over Hawley but that wasn't the case.

I've come to the conclusion that the reason why I had tears of pride in my eyes when our boys beat Hawley in our last game and just a satisfied grin on my face as our boys defeated Breckenridge tonight. . .comes down to the my perceived view of the status of the communities of Hawley and Pelican Rapids.

Hawley is the "darling" community of the area. . .it has a lot of great things going for it and "golden" seems to be an appropriate part of their school's nickname. (Hawley Golden Nuggets)

I mean no disrespect to the Hawley community as it seems to be a super community to belong to but when you are at the other end of the spectrum. . .in what seems to be the "community of problems", you tend to look at things in a "David vs. Goliath" way.

We don't get a lot of credit in our community for all the good things that happen, so when our sports teams, band, knowledge bowl, choir, etc...excel, well it is a time for even greater celebration in our community of believers.

So HooooooooooHAAAAAAH! Boys and thanks for giving us something to believe in.

As Dick Vitale would say "It's all about gym-time baby!"

If you want to be a "diaper dandy", a "super soph", a "Prime Time Player" you gotta put in the time. Their is no "golden ticket", no "free ride" and definitely no "magic potion" that will allow a person instant success on the hard court.

Great players and great teams don't just happen. You do have to have some athletic ability to excel at sports but just natural ability alone doesn't make a player great.

Great players are created in the driveways and in the gymnasiums. And it is not during the season that these players move ahead of the rest of the pack. . . It is during the off season that the "all-conference", "all-state" and "all-american" players really develop. It is the time away from the season that the conference champs, section champs and state champions make their move.

During the season every player in the nation is working on their skills. There are some players who work harder in practice than others and others who put in extra time outside of practice working on their skills in hopes of getting that little bit of an advantage. . . but for the most part everybody is taking steps up the ladder of success at about the same rate.

I feel that even though we had only seven wins this year we improved just as much and possibly a little more than some of the teams that made it to state this year.(we had more room for improvement)

The difference though is where we came into the season compared to these other teams. Because of this reality, I really feel it is important to get my players to try to understand the importance of working on their games year round and also gain the desire to Work to WIN! I don't want their efforts in basketball to come at the cost of not participating in other sports but I would love to see them do this in addition to their other sports.

It only makes sense that if we want to be better than other teams we have to practice more than they do once the season is over. Players need to look at other teams and say to themselves. . ."What do I need to do this off-season to improve my team's chance of beating the competition."

Let's take Frazee as an example. . . we split with them this year. . . they have everyone coming back and we lose three seniors. . .who wins the two games that we will play against them next year will come down to who puts in more quality time this off season. The same will be true for a number of other teams we will face next year.

As a player you must also look at the Hawleys and DGFs on our schedule. . .Teams that were much better than us this year and who will return a solid nucleus of their players next year. How are we going to compete against them next year? Will the game be a "no contest" type of event or will we start being able to be more successful against the top teams in the area.

If the players from teams like DGF and Hawley don't touch a ball in the off season and we spend time in the off season working on our skills, we will be more successful against them next year. However, I don't think it is wise for my team to hope others don't do anything so that we will be able to compete with them. We need to realize that others are going to work on their games and the key to our improvement will come down to our decision to WORK HARDER during the off season.

When it comes to putting in extra time in the off season some players feel that their lives are way too busy to add anything else to their day?

I'm not doubting that they see it this way but I compare this to those that say they are too busy to serve on a church committee, or to help out in a community event, or do any of these extra things that takes time but are seen as worthwhile.

My question is NOT. . . "why can't these people get involved". . but instead my question is. . . "why are some people able to get involved in these activities?" I would venture to guess that many of these "doers" are just as busy, if not busier, than the people who feel they just don't have the time to donate but they still manage to pitch in.

My point. . .

It is a matter of prioritizing and time management. No, you can't do everything but you really have more time in your day than you realize. The key is to come up with a reason to do something that will be benificial instead of coming up with excuses why you can't do a task.

I tell my players that there are hundreds, if not thousands of reasons why you can't work on your skills in the off season but what I ask them to do is to find just ONE REASON to do what needs to be done.

THIS BRINGS ME TO THE KEY TO UNLOCKING THE DOORS OF SUCCESS. . .

Here it is. . . in sports, at home, at work, in school, in relationships or wherever success can be created. . . the key to opening the doors to success is not only wanting to improve but more importantly, really being EAGER to improve!

In basketball, great success will not happen until a player is really eager to give up an hour here and an hour there to work on the skills of the game. The players that are eager are the ones that have fallen in love with the game and have the desire to see just how far they can go. They are the ones who find time, not excuses. They want the challenge that the game gives them and are willing to forgo other aspects of their lives so they can come to the gym early in the morning to play.

You know the ones. . .the "ballaz" who nine times out of ten will be in the gym whenever it's open. In Pelican Rapids this unufortunately is dominated by the boys.(Good for the guys. . .unfortunate for the girls)

I asked my players the other day why every time I go into the gym in the mornings, after school, or on Sunday's I only see boys playing basketball?

I am amazed at the eagerness that the boys have when it comes to basketball in this school. Even boys who are no longer in the program are coming into the gym on a regular basis. For the most part, these "gym rats" are players in the boys' program. . .It is no surprise to me that our boys program has become one of the top programs in state. . .Coach Strand and his staff are not only excellent coaches but they also have players who are Dreaming Big. . . and Working to WIN!

I don't want my players to feel pressured to get into the gym and don't want them to feel that they HAVE to be in there. I would just love to see a handful of my players have the same desire that most of the boys have. I want them to be eager to be in the gym. . . I want them to come into the gym because they are having fun pursuing a dream and they too want to one day be the best!

Walking into a gym full of kids and only seeing one or two girls is the most dis-heartening part of my job right now.

Thus, my biggest job is trying to figure out how to get the girls to understand the value of putting in the time during the off-season. Thus I have to say. . ."Girls. . . "SERIOUSLY". . .It's worth it!"

Parents, you can help. . .if your kids want to go to the gym. . . get up and bring them in!

If your child wants to go out and shoot around in the driveway. . . get out there and rebound for them!

I make it a priority with my boys that if they ask to go to the gym, we go to the gym. If my boys want to play catch, we go play catch. If my boys want to go golfing. . . now this is a tough one. . .we go GOLFING!!!

Can I do this all of the time? No. But, I do look for a reason to do these things instead of excuses not to. Sometimes it is hard. Every morning for the last three weeks I have run my eldest son Casey to school at 7:00 A.M. (most of the time in my pajamas) I would rather not go out into the cold but I am not going to be one more obstacle that he has to find a way around instead I want to be the "BULLDOZER" that is clearing his path to success.

Some Sunday afternoons I am dead tired from a week of late night basketball games, I got bags under my eyes and my wife is nestling into the couch for her two hour weekend nap and all I want to do is curl up by the fire place downstairs and drift off to sleep. . .but my boys are panting like puppies waiting to go up to open gym. . .so I pull on the coat and off we go. Three hours later we are back at home. . . I'm still tired but my boys were out doing something they love right now and having fun in the process.

The point I am trying to make is to not under estimate your importance as a parent in the success of your child. By helping them out you are showing them that what they are doing is of value to you and in the end kids want to please their parents the most. Remember the days when they were younger. . .

"Mom, Dad, Look at Me!"
"Watch Me"
"Okay here I go!"
"Tadah!"

They still are thinking these things. . .They still want you to be involved. . .

You want your child to be a success. . . be her bulldozer!

The end of a season can really put a coach in a melancholy mood.

Part of it is the fact that you have poured your heart and soul into the season and then “wham” it’s over. . . it hits so quickly and I get almost a ‘lost puppy’ type feeling as I don’t really know what to do or where to go.

Another big part of this gentle sadness is the fact that you are losing seniors that you have been soooooooo close to over the years. It is a part of the job that doesn’t get easier no matter how many senior classes graduate.

This year I once again have to not only say good-bye to some great seniors but I am again losing an assistant coach.

Karissa “Mo $” Evenson is moving on to the bright lights of the Twin Cities. “Mo” really stepped up to the plate the last two years and filled in as an assistant when there was no one on the teaching staff who could or would. “Mo” is a former player who was attending Concordia over the past three years and made a huge commitment to our program by driving back and forth to Moorhead to coach. She is also a special part of my family’s life as she has become a daughter to Sue and I and a big sister to my boys. She stepped up at a time when the program was in need and for that I will always be grateful.

One of the joys of coaching is the relationships you do develop with your assistant coaches. You spend a lot of time together on and off the court and you pretty much become family.

Over the years I have had the pleasure to coach with a lot of great people but I have also had to deal with the loss of some great friends as for one reason or another their life path led them away from Pelican Rapids. Even though they made a big impact on my life when they were here the emptiness that I feel at times is just as great.

James Taylors song “You Got a Friend” does a great job of relaying the feelings that I have for my past players and past coaching companions. I posted the video of the song for those who want to listen to it but I will also give you the lyrics to read.

Dave Rund, Brian Bordwell, Michelle Grinstead, Rich Hills, & Mo. . . I love you man!

“You Got A Friend” by James Taylor

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
and you know where ever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.

If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.

You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?

People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.

Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

Some of you may have read or heard of Linda Ellis' “The Dash Poem”.

I usually recall the moral of the poem a few times a year as I make my way through the “ups” and “downs” of the basketball season.

The poem talks about the “dash” that lies between the year of a person’s birth and of their death.

EXAMPLE: (Oct. 10, 1910 – Dec. 7, 1941)

In Linda Ellis’ poem the “dash” represents the years a person lived their life on earth and talks about what that life was worth, how it was lived and how the person chose to use the time they had here on earth. The poem is a great reminder to take a step back every once and a while and take a look at how you are living your life.

I see a “dash” often as a coach.

The "dash" I see lies between the number of wins my team has and the number of losses. I try to remember at the end of the season that it is this “dash” that really determines the success of the team and ultimately the success of a coach. It is tough to sometimes see between the numbers on the left and right of this small blip of a line but like the dash between a person's birth and death the one between the wins and losses stands for a whole lot and it is worth remembering.

I revised the Linda Ellis' poem a little to show you how I use it to remind me of the importance of “The Dash”


"The Basketball Dash Poem" A revision of a poem By Linda Ellis

I heard of a player who stood to speak
at the banquet for her coach.
She referred to the wins and losses
that others would try to broach.

She noted that first came the wins
and spoke the next number with a sigh.
But she said what mattered most of all
was the dash that between the two does lie.

For that dash represents all the time
that the coach spent coaching on earth.
And now only those who toiled & played
would truly know its worth.

For it matters not how many games we win;
the trophies, or medals that you stash.
What matters is the caring and dedication
and how you spend your dash.

So think about this long and hard.
are there things you'd like to change?
For you impact kids everyday,
and your priorities can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what matters most of all.
And always try to do what’s best
for both the big and small.

And be less quick to anger,
and show encouragement more.
And love the players that you coach
like they are children or yours.

Treat each player with respect,
and help them to handle the jeers and cheers.
Remember that this special dash
is what they will remember through the years.

So when your career comes to a close
with your actions to rehash.
Would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?