Viking Coach

A parent approached the coaching staff yesterday with disturbing news. . . her 7th grade daughter has become frustrated and disillusioned with basketball.

The frustration was in the lack of playing time the daughter was receiving on C-squad when she moved up after Christmas. This parent was correct in her evaluation that her daughter has not received equal playing time when compared to some of her classmates.

I knew when we asked the seventh and eighth graders to come back after Christmas that some of them would be able to handle playing 9th graders and some of them wouldn’t be ready and so I decided that it was going to be okay if some of the players didn’t get to see game time once they moved up.

Now, is this fair??? I don’t know?

Fair, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. And when it comes to parents their view is “child focused”, as it should be.

PROOF OF POINT:
How many parents do you know feel their child is not very attractive and on the verge of ugly??? This rarely happens. A parent sees beyond the flaws and sees the beauty of the kid and thus they have average to above average looks.

I know my mom has a much higher opinion of me than the average bear. I like that fact. . . I like the feeling that it gives me to know that no matter what I do wrong that my mom thinks I am something soooooooooo special. I really believe that a parent needs to somehow get across to their kids that their love is totally unconditional. This fact alone will give the child the confidence they will need to face the challenges of life.

BACK TO THE ISSUE:

The reasoning behind wanting the 7th and 8th graders to move up and play a second season was to give them an opportunity to work on their skills. For a month and a half the girls have had the chance to improve on their basketball skills instead of going home after school and not doing anything athletic.

Because of our lack of numbers at the high school level the opportunity was there to allow them to come and practice. My feeling was that if we can get these girls to make this commitment they would come back next year being that much better than the players from other teams who are not getting this opportunity.

My “vision quest” was to make our program better and give the girls an opportunity to work to reach their dreams.

I did not want the players who chose to move up to become discouraged or frustrated. . . the daughter of the parent mentioned above happens to be a great athlete who has the potential to be a very good ball player. For a seventh grader she is definitely one of the better players. . . she plays very good defense and has something we can't coach: quickness.

Interesting point: I knew this girl was really thinking about not joining us for a second season. However, I thought enough of her potential that I made it a point to talk with her and encouraged her to come out even if she would have to miss a practice here or there. Why? Because I knew she had potential to one day be a good player and I knew that she would benefit from working on the skills that we stressed over the last month and a half.

For me to now find out that she is frustrated is really sad. I have been feeling so good about the effort and hard work these seventh graders have been putting in because it has been so impressive to watch. I truly believe this group of girls could be really good one day and the dedication they showed by coming out for c-squad just improved this chance.

Parents. . . you are not doing your daughter any favors by adding fuel to the fire of frustration. . . your job is to help your child understand situations that are taking place.(even if you may not agree totally with the situation) Be encouraging. . . if you frustrated that your child is thinking about quiting you need to keep encouraging them to work hard and fight through the frustration. . . I am not saying that your thoughts and feelings are not valid. I am just saying you have the responsiblity of helping your child be a problem solver. Would it be easier to just blame me? Of course, but that doesn't help solve our problem.

Try to understand that as a coach I do not want to discourage my junior high players. . . that would be seriously stupid. My total focus is on keeping the girls in the game. What we had to do this year can create a situation in which a girl gets down because some of her teammates are actually playing and they aren’t. I understand where these girls are coming from. I was in their shoes, back-in-the-day, but my situation was worse.

Here’s my story, sad but true. . .

I could have been called “two-minute bruggy” during my 7th, 8th & 9th grade years at Mahnomen.

You see, Mahnomen’s philosophy was to win games and equal playing time was not a mandate. I wasn’t one of the top players at this time so my playing time came when my team was way up or way down. I would get to play the last two minutes as it was a time I would do the least amount of harm. I’m sure I was frustrated at times and I know I thought I should play before this buddy or that one but that didn’t happen.

So I quit! Heck no. . .I kept with it. . . I kept practicing and working hard. . . By my sophomore year I passed my buddies up and was starting b-squad. . . and by my junior year I made the starting line up for the varsity team.

THE POINT - - - The players that play in junior high is not the future varsity team. Instead, it is the players that work hard, keep a good attitude and continually improves that increase their chance to play more as they grow older. The key is to fight through frustration and rise above the fray. . .

How does a junior high player do this. . . by having a parent that will help them! TRUE.